Even though three of the four of us did not sleep well at all on Saturday, we were all able to get up and go to church on Sunday. We were received with a very warm welcome, and there were so many people genuinely happy to see us again. It warmed our hearts. The message was from Psalm 27 on how to have confidence in God and have no fear. It was very apropos. B had "Happy Birthday" sung to him, which is a big deal because usually this church doesn't do that sort of thing. Afterwards, we were invited over for a relaxing BBQ. We could not have asked for a better reception from our host spiritual community.
But then Monday morning came. For me (B) it has felt like the Enemy has decided to fire a few fiery arrows at me. I would love to blame all my frustrations on being tired from jet-lag, but in all honesty, I am frustrated because things are not how I expected. And so I am trying to renew my mind and fix my attitude.
It is like going on vacation from work, and someone having used your office while you were gone. They left your space in a bit of disarray, and things are not in the place. This is not to mention all the work that has to be redone now that you are back, as well as all the catch-up work.
In general everything in our house is tidy and in order. But just below the surface you see all the negatives. And for some reason our minds focus on all those. You see the mold in the shower because someone didn't properly ventilate it after using it. Your hot water is sporadic. Non-dishwasher safe utensils were put in the dishwasher (even though the dishwasher was unplugged before you left). The vacuum cleaner is full (and it is bag less). There are at least 7 light bulbs needing replacing. The shrubs look like a jungle (except where the next door neighbor chopped off limbs that were shading your yard). You find your favorite cashmere throw ripped. And there is evidence that a locked room was used. But the straw that broke the camel's back was finding a note. (And if you are wondering why I was plundering through the trash, I wasn't. I moved the lid to put some trash in the can, and the note was sitting on top.) There are two things about this note. 1) Our house does not have a door bell, so the note was superfluous, and 2) The note was written on basically a foam toy to the girls' feeding- of-the-5000 kit. For some reason that note made me more upset than all the other small things. Does a foam fish look like scrap paper? Why couldn't they use their own? And why was the note even written to begin with?
At lunch my spirit was even more carnal. Some guy parked his massive Jaguar over the parking stripe. I parked right beside him, and I watched from inside as he was frustrated at me for parking too close to his car. Surely, he should have either placed his car in between the stripes or kept his car at home, right?
The supermarket was no better. Europe is not the place for people who eat cereal for breakfast. So while I am looking at the shelf trying to decide which one of the three choices to get, I suddenly have this longing for home (where the cereal selection is amazing). It was then that I recognized that I needed to deal with my attitude. I am reading a book on Scripture memory, and how the discipline of learning Scripture increases spiritual growth. The author has suggested repeating Scripture to yourself to correct bad thoughts. So, I forced myself (and the Holy Spirit really had to help here because I was quite happy in my misery) to repeat whatever portion of Scripture came to mind. It was Psalm 23:1, The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. Well, that just made me want to scream. But it disrupted the evil thoughts long enough to reset my attitude direction. I couldn't pray nor repeat any more Scripture. But it was like someone dropping their side of things in the middle of an argument.
Only later could I come back and say to myself (on the inside) that I needed to re-think about my reaction to everything. So, I thought that if 6 months ago I had not moved out, I would have had to do the same work that I am doing now (pruning the shrubs, cleaning mold, etc.). And, so what DVDs were not put back after they had been played, the time is now to put them back. Normally, I don't tidy up after myself immediately either. Besides, other people have their homes used much more often than I have had. So, be thankful it was just for 6 months and not ongoing like others.
There are so many other blessings also. The weather has been phenomenal with highs in the upper 70s and plenty of sun, which means I have had the chance to get in the back yard and prune while soaking up as much vitamin D as possible. And since I am slowly getting back into work, God has given me the time also. The grass was freshly cut, and all the limbs my neighbor cut and threw over into my yard were picked up by my colleague and put it the green recycle can. We got a discount on our cell phones. So, I've tried continually to say that I will catch the foxes, those little foxes who set out to ruin the vineyards, in order to enjoy what has been given. See Solomon 2:15. In other words, drop the little things in life or they can drive you crazy worrying about them.
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